Dating debacles

  • | Thursday | 13th February, 2020

Her shoelaces were untied; we started talking and I told her to tie it up before she hurts herself. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and I asked if she would be interested if I asked her out on a date. It started out really well and we were engaged in an interesting conversation when suddenly, she got a call. Finding out that this was a man who was obsessive in dating journalists who looked eerily similar to each other, was just too much for me. — Fouzia, 31Terrible Tinder talesWe matched on Tinder in Chennai, and decided after a small chat that we would meet for a meal.

Shwetha Surendran By Express News Service CHENNAI: Apart from the lucky few who fall in love at first sight, the rest of us have to walk through the minefield that is ‘dating’. Now and then, we step on a landmine. If you’ve never been on a date from hell, Shwetha Surendran brings you five accounts that might leave you wondering if romance is dead after all Age is just a number When I was in the first year of undergraduation at Loyola College, I met a pretty girl while I was running in the SDAT Tennis stadium. Her shoelaces were untied; we started talking and I told her to tie it up before she hurts herself. I found out that she was born in Ooty, and having done my schooling there, it was clear that we had a lot in common. Anyway, we exchanged numbers and I asked if she would be interested if I asked her out on a date. She said yes. I was super excited and fixed a date and picked out a nice restaurant. It started out really well and we were engaged in an interesting conversation when suddenly, she got a call. Picking up, she said, “On Monday I will sign everything and we will be done.” And so I asked her, “So what do you have to sign?” She said, “My final divorce papers.” Being only 17 years old at the time, it came as a shock to me. She then said that she was still married but that they don’t live together. It was just too much for me at that point, I was freaking out. Five minutes later she got another phone call and it was her husband. They had a huge argument over the phone for 20 minutes as I sat there awkwardly. After the call, she began sobbing. I panicked and said that I had an exam the next day to prepare for. I paid the bill, got out of the restaurant and got into an autorickshaw. Never seen her since then, actually. — Amit, 25 The third wheel We’d met through Tinder and we were out on a coffee date. It started off quite normally, and we were asking questions about each other and the works. Everything seemed to be going perfectly and he appeared to be quite a pleasant person. That feeling lasted until he brought up previous relationships. I don’t mind talking about past relationships, but the first date seemed hardly the time to talk about that, and I told him so. He then said, “Alright, let’s forget about past relationships. Instead, how about we talk about current ones”. I told him that I wasn’t seeing anyone. He then proceeded to tell me that he has a girlfriend, and they were looking for a third person to be a part of their relationship. “You’re sexually active right?” he brazenly asked me. If that wasn’t enough, his questions kept getting increasingly personal. I was mortified by this point and it took me a minute to process and recover. I made it very clear to him that this is was highly inappropriate and borderline offensive. I have nothing against his lifestyle choices but this highly personal line of questioning was uncalled for and a lot to deal with, especially when I have no idea who you are and we’re on a first date. I paid for my coffee and couldn’t wait to get out of there. — Apoorva, 27 Obsessive lover He was a nice guy. He didn’t get too drunk in the date or pressure me into coming home with him. During dinner as we got to talking, somehow the topic of ‘having a type’ came up. Turns out, he did have one. Journalists. Here’s where it gets weird. He began telling me about another journalist he had dated who was very similar to me — looks and otherwise. Since the journalist community in the city is pretty small and tight, I probed a little more to find out if he’d dated anyone else that I knew. Turns out, it was one of my friends. Finding out that this was a man who was obsessive in dating journalists who looked eerily similar to each other, was just too much for me. So I called it a night and just left. Definitely not one of the better dates! — Fouzia, 31 Terrible Tinder tales We matched on Tinder in Chennai, and decided after a small chat that we would meet for a meal. Once we’d reached the restaurant, and had gotten the basic niceties out of the way, she began asking me a few questions about a Masters programme that I’d just graduated from. As she further questioned me about it, I thought that she was interested in getting to know me, but after twenty minutes of inquiring about the details of the programme and the university, it was clear. She was way more engrossed in getting to know about the programme than me. Turns out she’d seen in my Tinder bio that I was a graduate from the institution that she was looking to apply to, and all she wanted was for me to help her with the nitty-gritty of the application process. Once she was satisfied that all her doubts had been cleared, she left. It felt more like a free counselling session than a date. It’s definitely time to edit my Tinder bio as well! —Vishnu, 22 Unwelcome guest A few years ago, I found myself in a weird place where I just wanted some attention, and I met this very attractive friend of a friend. So when he slid into my DMs and asked me out, overlooking the obvious that we had nothing in common, I said yes. Early on in the date, it became clear to me that we had wildly opposing opinions and just didn’t mesh, even at the most basic level. Trying to find some common ground, we were talking about LGBTQIA rights, and by the end of that conversation, I just knew that this date was going to be bad. But I could never have imagined how much worse it would get. Since he lived like an hour from the city and had come all the way only to see me, I decided to not leave and instead invited another friend to hang out with us. When that didn’t work, we decided to go sit in my flat. When we got there, he suddenly started throwing up in my bathroom. Then at 11 pm, he made me cook porridge for him and when I didn’t have any pickle to go with it, he asked me to go buy him some! After all that, he still had the gall to complain that the porridge didn’t have enough salt! Anyway, I made up my mind to bear this out until the sun came up. Just as the clock struck 5 am, he wanted to crash in my bedroom but I made up a quick excuse that my landlord will be coming to visit me then. Finally, just before he left, he tried to kiss me, told me that this was the best time that he had with a girl and thought that we were going to get married. Confused, I just wanted him out of my house. Hands down, worst date and worst night of my life. — Vanshika, 22

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