Are you single? Will you have friends visiting you? Two of the frequently asked questions by flat owners, the answers to which determine whether a single man or woman is likely to get the key to a flat or the door slammed on the face. The situation is hardly new but the recent mail sent by the apartment owners’ association of JM Manor, a residential complex at Kaloor, has reopened the debate about residents’ associations in Kochi denying a roof for single men and women.For Radhika Retnam, a content writer at a brand consultancy in Kochi, the quest for rented accommodation meant running from pillar to post, and hours of roaming around without any results. She says that the one question that followed her everywhere was ‘Are you single?’ “When you try to find a shelter in Kochi, the first question anyone would ask is whether you are married. I think it is ridiculous, and their cold expression would speak a thousand words about their attitude towards singles.”More than one’s background or job, landlords are more worried about marital status. “What should matter to them is whether I can pay my rent without fail. The tenant, be it a single woman or belonging to a family could be a drug addict, anti-social or even a terrorist. However, no one really seems to bother.”Thanks to a few industrious friends in Kochi, she managed to find a shelter eventually. Or else, like many other single women, she would have had to settle for a cramped hostel room. Interestingly, this is one area where gender doesn’t matter; both are equally discriminated against.Abhijith Damodaran, a college student and music buff, says he and his friends had a bitter experience, while staying in a flat which one of them owned. Once, a friend, who happened to be a girl, came into their flat, so that one of them could travel with her from Kochi to Kozhikode. Suspecting something ‘juicy’, a few moral policemen from the neighbourhood barged in with phone cameras, only to return disappointed. This intrusion into their privacy, however, left deep scars on everyone’s minds, especially the girl’s.Albin Kurian, a media executive, describes how a few of them moved to their new living quarters with great enthusiasm recently but were put off by the stares from their neighbour. “They made clear through their indifference their aversion for singles. They had problem seeing us anywhere within the premises, be it the terrace or the entrance or anywhere. What baffled us was that we had done nothing for them to dislike us and we were paying the same amount of money as rent.”The only other option is to stay in a hostel but most of them resemble concentration camps, say Athira Sukumaran and her friend Dinika Ravi, both of whom are HR personnel. “We were in for a shock while we were hunting for a good hostel. The girls were living in pathetic conditions.”“A hostel in Kaloor was so congested that there was hardly any space to enter. The hall was so packed with beds that as soon as you enter, you stumble on to one. There was a kennel-like outhouse which too had beds in it.”Many residents’ associations are either openly or discreetly advising its members not to give out their flats and houses on rent to single people. The one in Vasant Nagar, Palarivattom, did so unofficially. Advocate Sibi J Monittally, President of JM Manor Residents Association , says that it is not aversion towards singles that prompted them to take such a step. “The request we made to the owners was in the interest of the inmates, as there are women living alone with their kids, with their husbands working abroad. We are okay with single women staying together in a flat but when it comes to single men, their activities and merrymaking might cause a nuisance for the others. Many owners have accepted our request as well.”But don’t married men also drink and make merry? Sibi counters, “In the case of married men, they will always have their wives by their side, who will regulate them. If we have concerns, we can approach them to sort it out.”PV Jain, a flat owner belonging to the Apartment Owners Apex Association, Vasant Nagar, disagrees: “I have been in North India and I have never seen people creating a fuss about youngsters being single. It’s only here that being single has become a problem.”He adds. “While there might be singles who are unruly, we must not generalise and punish everyone. It is also a fact that most owners, who deny singles a home, have their son or daughter living in a rented flat in Delhi or Mumbai. It is sheer double standards, and the way they treat a single male or female shows another kind of moral policing.”Isn’t it a fundamental right of a single man or woman to live on rent? Advocate Nithin S points out: “No matter what the residents association’s decisions are, it is up to the house owner to give the flat to a bachelor or a married man. As of now, there is no provision in the law that can be invoked to help such people. However, after the owner lets the tenant in, if the residents association creates any problem, they can seek legal recourse.”

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