Linta Mary Philip By Express News Service KOCHI: For the last few years, love, for Malayalis is not just hearts and flowers. A not-so-glossy side of “love” has been revealed, with a few spurned lovers, failing to handle rejection, taking out their vengeance on women, murdering them in cold blood. So dire is the situation that January alone witnessed two horrifying incidents - in Thiruvananthapuram where a spurned ‘lover’ killed a girl by slitting her throat and in Ernakulam where a teenage girl was murdered by her ex-’lover’. In 2019, attacks on women over unrequited/ rejected love had claimed the lives of four women in the state. The spike in such incidents is worrying and needs introspection, even as we get ready to celebrate the day of love. Taking it legally While the law has several provisions to empower and protect women, there is often a hesitance to pursue the legal route in cases of stalking and harassment. Such cases violate a woman’s right to choose her partner, a constitutional right guaranteed to the citizens of the country. “When studying the history of the recent attacks on women by spurned lovers, it is seen that the family of the victim had approached the police seeking intervention. They then chose to reach for a compromise with the stalker, rather than taking the legal recourse, which then led to the attacks. Going legal would have dissuaded the attackers from taking violent action,” said J Sandhya, lawyer and former member of Child Rights Commission. “Stalking is a serious crime, that invites imprisonment of five years. But, this provision of the law is rarely implemented, due to trivialisation of the issue by the police and families. Time and concern over their daughter’s future play a major influence here. Such cases are now completely confidential and handled with sensitivity,” Sandhya added. The mindset While there are limitations in preventing such revenge crimes where emotions come into play, the mindset of the society needs to change for a positive outcome.“The male-centric society, based on the concept of benevolent patriarchy, is one of the fundamental reasons for male aggressiveness in a relationship. Any feeling expressed by the girl which does not concur with a male opinion is punitively handled and harshly rejected. Men are unable to understand the concept of democracy in relationships. What exists without democracy is not love, it is an unhealthy state of emotional slavery,” said Dr Arun B Nair, associate professor of psychiatry, Medical College, Thiruvananthapuram. Sensational information on social media which glorify crimes of passion and a history of violence in family also lead to such crimes.Yet all is not lost. “Exposure to the world has also made several people aware of the aspect of democracy in love, where couple agrees to disagree. If true lovers part ways, there will always be regard for each other, not the instinct to harm. The importance of being assertive, to agree to disagree without harming the other person should be taught to children from a young age for them to build healthy relations in the future,” the doctor added. Crime rate The Crime in India-2018, report published by NCRB, shows that 98.4 per cent of rape cases reported in Kerala involved offenders known to women. The year witnessed 1,945 rape cases out of which perpetrators of 1,914 cases were known to the woman

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