Like many expats, when 43-year-old Hrishikesh Sathawane decided to tie the knot, the US-based techie wanted a traditional Marathi ceremony in his hometown. This may sound like yet another run-of-the-mill NRI wedding… but it is not. California-based Sathawane solemnised the union with his same-sex Vietnamese partner Vinh on December 30 as per Hindu rituals in Yavatmal. “Usually, people marry in the bride or groom’s hometowns,” says Sathawane, speaking to DNA from California, adding, “If I had chosen to get married elsewhere, it would have been a problem for my family and friends to attend.” Sathawane came out to his parents in 1997, but they took about five years to digest it. “Once they accepted it, they felt I should settle down,” said the engineer-turned-marketing strategist. His family, which lives with him in the United States and includes his father Mohan, mother Rajshree and younger sister Rashmi, insisted on a ceremony and made the preparations. Vinh teaches in a tutor agency, and his family too accepts Sathawane as his “significant other”. Sathawane says mental health professionals must junk ideas about homosexuality being a mental disease. He recalls threatening a psychologist at Amravati — to whom his parents had taken him — with legal consequences in case he subjected Sathawane to shock therapy. While most of Sathawane’s friends were supportive, there were snide comments. “If you think homosexuality is a western concept, go to Khajuraho... It is debatable if these things were socially acceptable in India, but they existed,” he says, adding, “Such marriages are not either legal or illegal (in India).” The couple will have a legal marriage in California.

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